“I am going to give you a clean slate and wipe all your lies away. You and I will start fresh, and I will assume every time you answer me from here on out you are telling the truth.”
It was the third time in two days J decided to lie to me. All small lies, but I know that if I keep allowing him to do this and he feel as if he can get away with it, then they will continue and probably become bigger and bigger.
First he lied about eating his lunch at school. When he got home it was all gone and I said, “oh did you eat all your lunch today.” He replied with an interesting smirk, “yes.”
I was curious about the look behind his response, so I asked again. After asking him over three times, hoping he would give in and tell the truth I finally stopped. Gave him a little speech about how it is better to tell the truth than lie and get caught. I asked him one last time and he finally admitted to lying.
Later in the day I found something broken, which was not broken earlier in the day. I had him come over to me.
I asked, “Do you know how this broke?”
He replies, “No!”
At this point he had already lied a few times, so this time I really was not sure. It was very possible it broke without him being involved, however since he had a history of lying I wasn’t sure if I could believe him. I asked him a few more times and he continued to deny.
I decided to try a different approach.
I said, “Here is the problem, you have lied to me a few times the last few days. So I want to believe you, but the fact that you keep lying to me makes me think you’re probably lying again this time.”
He just looked at me.
I continued, “OK, I am going to give you a clean slate and wipe all your lies away. You and I will start fresh and I will assume every time you answer me from here on out you are telling the truth.”
He said “Ok.”
I gave him the look. The look of “I am serious”. I tried to perfect this “look” when he was younger so if I was in public with him or around his Mom and he was misbehaving or doing something I did not approve I could give him the look and he would know. As Stepmoms we all have the occasional family outing or sports event when both sides of the family are there but since you are Stepmom you cannot say anything. Well this look has helped me during some of those times 🙂 Just a small hidden tip for those younger Step-mommas who may be able to learn the Look!
It was his last day with us before he headed to his Moms for a few days so I may have to do an update to this blog and let you know if this heart to heart worked.
Jade San Nicolas