Stepmom Harassment at School

J is my oldest child, so he is my first experience with a child in school. There have been few ups and downs, but this one is the one I am currently dealing with.
I knew I was doing the right thing, but as I requested to pick up J the office lady looked at me with questioning eyes. “Are you sure your allowed to pick him up?”, she asked. I honestly cannot recall the exact thing she said; partly because I was anxious, I knew this would happen eventually, the other part of me was too busy rehearsing my reply for this sort of questioning.
“Yes I am, I have an email between his mom and the teacher allowing me to pick him up.”
It wasn’t actually one of the five or so responses I had come up with in my head, but it is what came out. Thank goodness because it was appropriate. 
She proceeded call the teacher, and was persistent over the phone to be sure the teacher has permission for me to go with him. 
To be honest, our court order states he is with us until 3:20. So there should have been no questioning, but guys… she doesn’t know that. Although she has a form in her desk that tells her this, she went to instant mommy-protection-mode herself.
I sat down and waited patiently, I was not doing anything wrong, so I had no reason to be concerned or stressed. But I am a stepmom, and this is a situation where we get questioned, so I allowed myself to feel anxious.
I decided to have a conversation with the office lady, let’s name her Judy. Judy and I have had a few run ins before, with a pretty major one that led to a court visit about a year and half ago. Besides that run in, me and my husband always go out of our way to say hi to her and be nice! It doesn’t matter, but we continue to do this because it is the type of people that we are. We will continue to be the bigger people and teach our children to do the same. 
She started mentioning how she had to do this, and there are stories of moms coming to get their child and the child being gone already. I told Judy, who began to get defensive, that it is ok I understand why she was questioning me. Let be honest, If it was my child I would want her to do the same thing! As much as I was frustrated and felt disrespected, I took a step back and looked at the situation from another perspective. It is not the easiest thing to do, especially when emotions are in control. 
This is just one of the small run-ins that I have with his school by having the title “Stepmom”:, and we even have the same last name. I roll with it, what else am I going to do? 
He came out of the classroom, knowing I would be the one picking him up and we strolled out of the school. I made sure Judy saw us and waved good bye. “Thanks” I said as we left. 
All was good, no one got hurt and everyone was doing the right thing.
Contact me with any sort of school run-ins you have had!
Your Truly 
Jade San Nicolas

One thought on “Stepmom Harassment at School

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  1. I never thought of it from the stepmom's point of view. I had several stepmothers growing up and I wish they had the classiness that you do. It sounds like your children are blessed to have a stepmom that is willing to step back and take the emotions out and do what's best for the child. I love your heart!!


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